Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day Read online

  I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum

  in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped

  on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in

  the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was

  going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

  At breakfast Anthony found a Corvette Sting Ray car kit in

  his breakfast cereal box and Nick found a Junior Undercover

  Agent code ring in his breakfast cereal box but in my

  breakfast cereal box all I found was breakfast cereal.

  I think I’ll move to Australia.

  In the car pool Mrs. Gibson let Becky have a seat by the

  window. Audrey and Elliott got seats by the window too.

  I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed.

  I said, If I don’t get a seat by the window I am going to

  be carsick. No one even answered.

  I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good,

  very bad day.

  At school Mrs. Dickens liked Paul’s picture of the sailboat

  better than my picture of the invisible castle.

  At singing time she said I sang too loud. At counting time

  she said I left out sixteen. Who needs sixteen?

  I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good,

  very bad day.

  I could tell because Paul said I wasn’t his best friend anymore.

  He said that Philip Parker was his best friend and that Albert

  Moyo was his next best friend and that I was only his third

  best friend.

  I hope you sit on a tack, I said to Paul. I hope the next time

  you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice

  cream part falls off the cone part and lands in Australia.

  There were two cupcakes in Philip Parker’s lunch bag and

  Albert got a Hershey bar with almonds and Paul’s mother

  gave him a piece of jelly roll that had little coconut sprinkles

  on the top. Guess whose mother forgot to put in dessert?

  It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

  That’s what it was, because after school my mom took us

  all to the dentist and Dr. Fields found a cavity just in me.

  Come back next week and I’ll fix it, said Dr. Fields.

  Next week, I said,

  I’m going to Australia.

  On the way downstairs the elevator door closed on

  my foot and while we were waiting for my mom to

  go get the car Anthony made me fall where it was

  muddy and then when I started crying because of

  the mud Nick said I was a crybaby and

  while I was punching Nick for saying crybaby my mom

  came back with the car and scolded me for being muddy

  and fighting.

  I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody.

  No one even answered.

  So then we went to the shoe store to buy some sneakers.

  Anthony chose white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red

  ones with white stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes

  but then the shoe man said, We’re all sold out. They made me

  buy plain old white ones, but they can’t make me wear them.

  When we picked up my dad at his office he said I couldn’t

  play with his copying machine, but I forgot. He also said to

  watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as

  could be except for my elbow. He also said don’t fool around

  with his phone, but I think I called Australia. My dad said

  please don’t pick him up anymore.

  It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

  There were lima beans for dinner and I hate limas.

  There was kissing on TV and I hate kissing.

  My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went

  down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pajamas.

  I hate my railroad-train pajamas.

  When I went to bed Nick took back the pillow he said I

  could keep and the Mickey Mouse night light burned out

  and I bit my tongue.

  The cat wants to sleep with Anthony, not me.

  It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

  My mom says some days are like that.

  Even in Australia.

 

 

  Judith Viorst, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

  (Series: # )

 

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